Traditional, that’s funny to me when I think of traditional
I think of the middle income conservative family of four a dog and living out
the American dream, a vacation once a year, a nice home, a new car every 5
years or so. Well, in some ways that is me, in others it is not. You see I
started my journey of living in the middle over twenty years ago. Come to think
of it my grandparents lived with us for a while but I think that was mostly to
help my mom as she single parented me and my brother. Before my husband and I
met his grandmother was a big part of his life and she had spent many a Sunday
with him going to church and then on to Furr’s cafeteria for fried okra and the
rest of the yumminess on that buffet. Things changed when she became mostly
homebound and my husband was encouraged to visit another church to meet people
(singles) his own age. Anyway over twenty years ago we had the opportunity to
live with his grandmother and help to care for her by being there in case she
fell and cooking meals for her. That did not go well. Come to find out his
grandmother and I are a lot alike. Word to the wise do not begin your marriage
(or the first 5 years or so) by having to care for someone other than each
other.
So between then and about ten years ago we were able to live
our lives as normal twenty and thirty somethings. You know get a good paying
job, buy a house, get a truck, have babies. Yes, in that order because we had a
plan. Then my dad got the big C yes, that’s right cancer. He needed help and me
being the oldest and having the best relationship with him I took him to his
appointments. Oh yeah, I had a two year old then. My in laws stepped right up.
They said they could keep my child anytime I needed to take my dad anywhere.
What a blessing they were to me during that time. They had a blast with their
newest grandchild and that grandchild loved every minute they spent together.
Well, my dad waited too long to see a doctor about his condition and while I
was pregnant with our second child he went to be with the Lord.
Now we are really in the middle. My in laws have gotten
slower over the past ten years and have had some medical issues (strokes) that
have made it harder for them to get around. My father in law was the primary
caregiver to his wife whom he cherished until he fell and could not recover
from his other (unknown to us) medical issues.
So we are helping to take care of my husband’s mother.
Now when I say help that is what I mean. We do not have to
do this 24/7 as other families do. What a blessing it is to have a team of
family members to care for their mother.
I am struggling to put to words how it is to raise your
children, care for an older adult and prioritize time and things that are the
most important. That will be another post I’m sure.
For now I’ll just think on things above.
Set your minds on things above, not on earthly things.
Colossians 3:2
